Hii! Ok.. I know.. I am supposed to be studying and not blogging but MY have just finished! Gimme a break! lol.. Anyway MY was ok-ok.. I do not want to say anything more than that. Wait till my luck is overturned.. lol.. That's a confirmed NO-NO!

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow as miie and my bakas are going to play badminton!!! Ah~ Brings back memories doesn't it? Huh BakaJia? Kyun~ I'm sure i'm going to win! Then Tadase-kun will run towards me and hug me. Kyaa!! Kanpeki! *blushing*blushing* hehe.. I wish everyone can make it.

Haiz~ Time do pass very fast doesn't it. I thought i was in sec 3 and when i wake up i realize i'm already half way to 'O' levels. NO! LESS THAN THAT!!! Haiz~ But i can't wait for after that! The route that awaits us! Ah~

Remember our dream ne Baka? I so can't wait to fulfill it! Hehe. Can tolerate you more! Muhahaha!

Right now i'm currently trying to lose wieght!! As

1) I am fat.
2) I have been eating a lot recently.
3) I'll be attending 2 wedding ceremonies.

Ah~ Weddings~ The best time to gobble up what there is! lol.. I mean it's rare to get the food.. ESPECIALLY THE DESERTS!!! Kyun~ First i'll be attending to my very own drama teacher's wedding. It's a Christian style. THERE'LL BE CAKE!!! *cough*cough* Anyway... Hopefully i can catch the flower bouquet at the end.. It's not like i want to get married.. Even if i want to.. I want to do it with Tadase-kun! Kyaa! Coming back to reality.. Isn't it fun to see who catches the bouquet? ^^ But i still wish it would be me... Hopefully Mr Ng will be there... It has been long since i have last seen him. Hopefully his family comes along! I would love to see his baby!(P.S : I AM FIRST ATTRACTED TO CUTE THINGS!).. = =" Next would be my aunt's wedding! TARGET LOCK ON INDIAN SWEETS! lol.. I mean the sweets are so heavenly! I would miss it!! I'm going to have a new uncle, big brothers and sisters!! KYAA!! I can't wait to meet them!!

I think i better get going. Though this is a very short post i wished i could typed more. What's to be expected when 'O' levels is this year. Haiz~ I don't wish to seperate with everyone i'm with now..

Oh well. Got to get going already. Till Next time! Bye-bye! Sayonara minna! Minna ni daisuki!

~kimi no nayami kizukazu sou warukatta kamo...zenbu uchiakenakute mochiron ii kara ne...kurai kao o shitetara kurai koto o yobu...omoi kimochi no mama iru no mottainai yo...RIDE ON~

Phrase of the day:

Restraint and release… A dream amidst the void… Another cloaked mask comes from within… The blade of the heart stands in stagnation… It’s a deep sleep, yearning for connections…

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

yeah!!! opps.. sorry sorry.. was busy after production.. wanted to update about it on friday.. lols.. ehehe.. anyway.. let's start with day 1..

on thursday huh.. it was great!! awesome!! well.. we had 3 practices.. or was it 2.. lol.. bad memory.. haha.. then was the actual show.. at about 6.45pm if i'm not mistaken we sat on stage in a circle and go through our views individualy.. then we went backstage and got ready.. Lynz helped me with make up.. thx a lot Sadako!! haha.. then it was play 2.. it was kind of funny.. you see.. first i need to appear to do the crane folding then rush to backstage to change into kimono.. lol.. that part was hilarious.. i ask Fatin to help me with the kimono.. 5 mins later she said she doesn't know how to tie.. = =" then rush to backstage to ask Munirah to tie for me.. she couldn't tie in time.. then had to jump on the cubes to appear.. then jump down and let Munirah tie again.. by that time she finished.. then jumped on the cubes to say my line again.. lol.. kept jumping up and down... haiz~ then my grand enterance.. lol.. great i tell you!! when i appeared fully.. everybody was saying "wow", "omg", "what the.."..lol.. i was so happy.. but i know that they're only admiring the kimono not me.. what ever! then this guy who was sitting near the curtain couldn't see me.. he got up to have a look.. then i stepped forward.. he thought i stepped forward for him.. and he said thank you.. lol.. that was my cue.. not for you.. haha.. then next minute the play was over.. *sob*sob*... so fast.. no.. too fast!! then went home and slept..

then it was friday.. came to school like usual.. took the bus and had a practice.. then got ready for the show.. at about 6.45pm everyone assembled at the stage and had review again.. i told them what happened yesterday and said "LET'S ROCK THE HOUSE TONIGHT!!!" lol.. everybody was so excited then.. the show lasted for an hour.. you could say that.. i was like OMG!!! i mean friday's show was mainly family members and they weren't laughing at all!! they laughed at times but not bacause of us but bacause of 2 twins sitted at first row.. lol.. i was like WTH!! = =" anyway we gave pur best and had lot's of fun.. we were sad as we wanted to put up more performance..

you know.. this production did really change us all.. there was this group a sec 2 indian girls which the club hated.. we thought she was arrogant and so on.. but then we realize that she is so friendly!! her friends too.. lol.. no wonder they say.. "DO NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER!" lol.. learnt my lesson..

then on sat woke up late.. did house work... it was like a relaxing day for me.. sunday got up early had tution from 10am to 12pm then got ready for drama outing.. the outing was meant for our little john.. but in the end the VIP did not turn up.. = =" haiz~ i wanted to hug him.. but i heard that he is coming back to take his o levels and go to army.. oh my.. our little john is growing up.. haha ^^ had a great day yesterday.. oh yeah that Lynz!! keep smsing.. haiz~then during the train ride back home.. those two geethas'!! they pinched my cheeks!! walaoh!! so painful!!!

anyway.. had a great time with them.. no.. with everyone!! haiz~ so sad.. next year it's my last year.. going to miss every single one of them.. *sob*sob* don't forget this grandma okie?? haha.. well.. got to go.. before i leave here's a picture of me as grandma.. lol..

~afuredashita shoudou ga bokura no mune wo utsu... ima futari no STORY ugokidashita... meguriaeta shougeki de iro no nai sekai ga... isshun de azayaka ni irozuite yuku yo...~

Phrase of the day:

Something that shouldn’t be moved. A custom that is lost. A harsh changed that cannot be reversed. A faltering blessing. Connecting to the heart’s sea… The great convergence shall sense and feel pain. The thing stuck in between now rises. The sin shall be accepted… ...Definition of Dependence...

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

hii-hii!! yo! haiz~ i know.. so long never post.. lol.. i'm such a busy woman you know.. haha.. well.. the busy part is true.. got so many drama practices.. haiz~ talking about drama production..

(...starting form Tuesday, November 25, 2008 @ midnight...)

...1 more day...

...44 more hours...

...2'640 more minutes...

...1'584'00 more seconds...

(..lol.. so fest already... wah!!! panic!!!..)

haiz~ i'm to relax not panic now... anyway.. let's go through what happened today as a reminder.. hmm.. *recalling*recalling* let's see.. went to school as normal for drama.. haiz~ i'm still recovering though.. after doing one run.. Ryan said that my voice is still soft.. i was like OMG!! haiz~ i wonder how i'm going to perform then.. lol..

but i must give in my best.. coz everyone is too!! hui-hui also wished me good luck.. thx hui-hui!! all the best to you and baby!! love you!! and better take pictures hor!! show me on 02-12 hor!! lol..

you know.. i feel so excited about next year.. not because i'm doing o levels.. it's because i'm going to be the senior!! and i wonder what type of sec 1s' will be entering to Fajar.. hmm.. hopefully cute ones.. haha.. i'll make sure that they join drama!! lol.. sounds like i'm going to kill them.. lol.. well.. just hope they choose what they like.. ^^

i think i'll end here for now.. well tomorrow i have 7 hours & 15 minutes of practice.. better hit the bed now.. see you tomorrow!! ^^ love you all!!!

~mitsumeteita nagareru kumo wo... kanjiteita kawaru sora no iro wo... tachitomatta bokura ha kizuku... utsuroiyuku sekai ga tsumugu uta ni...~

Phrase of the day:
First you must decide. Then you must follow through. I believe that is the only way you can get anything accomplished.

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

(...starting from Wednesday, November 12, 2008 @ midnight...)

...14 days...

...800 hours...

...48'000 minutes...

...2'880'000 seconds...

(...haha.. so fun!! ^^" the days are nearing wini and you say so fun.. remember you still have not remembered your lines... lol...)

wah!! today is the happiest day i ever had!! coz.. coz.. haha.. IT'S MY B'DAE!! ^^ had a great time from day to night!! i wish this happen always!! haha.. once a year.. let's see what happened.. ^^ kusu-kusu..

firstly.. woke up in the morning.. haiz~ tired.. need to go for drama.. on the way people kept smsing.. "..happy b'dae!!.." so happy!! ^^ kyaa!! then in school fatin wished me first.. but that girl!! i want to kill her!! she told mr eddy about it!! but mr eddy wished me.. i told him to dance for me but he refused.. *sob*sob* brought my camera for nothing.. haha.. kidding.. then that eddie!!! he told the club.. then everyone sang b'dae song.. amir and sharil kept saying "happy b'dae grandma!!" annoying la those two.. lol

then wanted to go home but saw jaq at concourse.. so sat and chat with her... then arul came.. OMG!!! you should see his message... wait i type..

You are such a wonderful person! And you are so deserving of every good thing and every brighter day that could ever be wished. For your b'dae and throughout the year ahead, i hope all the things you long for will find their way into your life. May the days be good to you: comforting more often than crazy and giving more often than taking. May the passing seasons make sure that any heartaches are replaced with a million smiles and that and hard journeys eventually turn into nice, easy miles that take you everywhere you want to go. May your dreams do their absolute best to come true. May your heart be filled with kindness of friends, the caring of everyone you love, and the richness ofmemories you wouldn't trade for anything. May life's little worries always stay small. May you get a little closer every day to any goals you want to achieve. May any changes turn out to be for the better. May you find this day to do the things you've always wanted to do! And may you be happy. . . . forever. WISHING YOU A WONDERFUL B'DAE!:-)

haha.. isn't that so sweet?? ^^ i was so touched.. bakajia asked wether he was typing a compo.. haha.. bakajia so evil.. thanks arul! i'll forgive you for not writing in the card.. ^^ really.. thanks a lot!!

okie.. let me continue.. then at 12pm i left school.. reached home.. took shower.. wore clothes then left.. i tell you!! i waited for bakajia at the lrt for 1 HOUR!!!! haiz~ she was so late!! GRR!! then went to Mac and bought our meals.. chat for how long ar?? 2 hours i think.. didn't realize that time passed so fast.. lol.. then went home.. on the computer and chat with her and her darling.. haha.. her darling!! he sms me "Happy b'dae wor... Be a grown up child... Haha..." !!!! i want to kill him!! GROWN UP CHILD!! YOU MEAN I CHILDISH!!! stupid bakajia!! i'll get you for that!!!

then for dinner had pizza.. ^^ so delicious.. continued chatting then cut cake.. wa... BLUEBERRY CAKE!!! so yummy!!! anyone want?? haha.. IN YOUR DREAMS!!! muhahaha!!! *cough*cough* haha.. sorry.. the picture not that clear.. my father took it.. haha.. but this is the best shot.. the bluberry is like melting in your mouth.. *heaven*heaven* ..haha..

tomorrow going to make IC!! ^^ OMG!! my face so fat!!! haha... need to lose wait.. will be going together with brenda and hui-hui.. hehe.. can't wait for next monday.. ^^ going out with nivi after drama.. we're going to watch High School Musical 3.. yeah.. yeah.. i know.. so slow... sorry la!! i am so busy!! haha.. anyway.. after today.. i have a lot of things to look forward too.. if i'm free again.. i'll blog again okie.. ^^ want to chat somemore with people.. haha..

well.. see you next time then!! take care!! december is a rainy season so you will fall sick easily!! eat lots of ginger and drink lime juice in the morning.. trust me.. it works.. that's why i'm so healthy.. lol.. i want to fall sick once.. haha.. better get going.. good night.. sweet dreams.. "chuu"

~bokura nan sen kai nai te mo kitto mou 1 kai norikoeru...bukiyou na furishite nige cha dame darou...sonna koto kurai wakaru darou...ima ga saishuu kai saigo no chansu shippai shita tte kowaku nai...kanashi sa mo setsuna sa mo aishi sa mo itsuka iyaserusa...~

Phrase of the day:
The thing that had nothing to rely on. The thing that had no appearance. The one who can settle him down is the one who has sinned against him. Two small lives and futures. One of a nightmare to the loved ones. Become the ones to love. They become the foundation of determination. That’s… His persona…

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

hiie everyone!! kusu-kusu.. so happy.. actually i also don't know for what.. let's see... tonight i'll be chatting with my big sister on msn.. wah.. it's been long since we last chat.. i'm so looking forward to it.. i have a lot of things to tell her.. hehe.. ^^ then.. tomorrow.. = =" well.. last friday i had a bio workshop... when leaving school i forgot to take my umbrella!! OMG!! i hope it is safe!!! *praying*praying* because the froggie on the umbrella looks cute.. haha.. but thet doesn't mean i like frogs.. lol.. so tomorrow need to collect my umbrella.. then got drama in the afternoon.. then come back home.. sorry i mean rush back home.. hehe.. coz my cousin will be here!! he should be on his way now.. hehe.. so excited!! he is so cool!!! i wish he was my brother.. *dreaming*dreaming* haha... then 11/11!! OMG!!! i can't wait!! bakajia and i have date on that day.. haha.. i'm so looking forward to it.. first we go to Jack's Place then Swensens.. finally to Japan.. right bakjia.. haha.. then on sat will be missing dance as i got drama again.. *sob*sob* confirm they'll be learning new step.. haiz~

haha.. hui-hui asking how's drama.. let's see... we have not think about the moves for at least half of the script.. i have not memorise my lines yet... so what you think?? i am like OMG!!! lol.. panic everywhere... Ryan is coming tomorrow.. then it's my turn to appear.. i hope she'll bring the costume tomorrow.. haha.. k-i-m-o-n-o!! kyaa!!! i can't wait for it!! oh yeah! i already have the tickets! so if you are coming please get it fast! we need to finish selling before 24/11.. so hurry before stocks last!!

(...starting from Monday, November 10, 2008 @ midnight...)

...16 days...

...404 hours...

...24'240 minutes...

...1'454'400 seconds...

(...lol...i prefer the seconds than the days..haha...)

BIG NEWS!!! MR NG LEAVING SCHOOL!!! wah!! why!! my favourite teacher leaving school!! why now!! *sob*sob* i'll be missing you Mr Ng.. *cry*cry* do you really have to go?! i mean really really?! to where?! will you come and visit us again??? we will be missing you... and thank you for the reply.. i'm glad you like my blog.. haha.. promise me that you'll never forget fajar and us..

and baby.. i'm sorry... it's not that you made me angry.. i was irritated on something else.. well.. you know about me right.. i get angry and jealous easily.. lol.. need to do something.. so what did you do to the perfume you made.. for grannies.. haha.. don't even think of giving it to me and tell me to wear for the production.. haha.. my whole family said that mine was nice.. very unique.. u noe.. after i gave my father a "perfume lecture".. he has been hesitating on using his perfume again.. haha.. cool right?! omg! you should have seen him! haha... i have been laughing continously since then.. best moment ever! lol.. anyway.. All the Best for the band competition!! remember you can do it!! Show them what you are made of! haha.. remember to take pictures... mommy wants to see them.. i'll take mine too.. hope they allow..*hoping*hoping* or else i'll just haunt Mr Eddy.. haha..

bakajia.. you know i really feel like killing you.. first break up.. then patch up.. then break up.. then patch up.. what's this!! don't you have faith in him!! follow your heart!! not your surroundings!! just remember that i will always be there for you!! i'll always support you!! till we die!! hehe.. looking forward to our date on tuesday.. first we go to Jack's Place then Swensens then Japan.. okie?? haha.. i'm so looking forward to it.. must choose a good present for Mr Ng... i tell you what.. you and i bring $50 each.. haha.. kidding.. i'm just so sad... *moaning*moaning* but things have a reason to happen... haiz~ cheer up bakawini!! Remember the line!! "NEVER FEAR CHANGE BUT BE AFRAID OF THE UNCHANGING!" yup yup.. be positive!!

omg!!! hui-hui!! is that your b'dae cake!! so yummy!! i'm drooling already!! lol.. you really had a busy day then.. hope you liked my present.. actually i was searching for a cup with anything that is related to music.. like music notes.. but couldn't find one.. haiz~ failed... then this cup with flowery design caught my eye.. wanted to buy one for myself too.. but they said that that is the last one.. out of stock already.. lol.. nvm.. ^^ better luck navt time.. hehe.. but i'm really glad you liked it.. phew~ it has been bothering me the whole time.. haha.. next time maybe we go out.. wait but o levels is during yours and miie b'dae.. lol.. then after that.. we november babies hang out okie?? haha.. we see then.. till then work hard for band!! All the best!!

and lastly cai ling... baka cai-cai.. hey.. that's a nice name.. haha.. what you mean cutey is better huh!? i'll baka you!! haha.. anyway thanks for replying me.. tag me hor!! and also add me in your blog!! and happy advance b'dae!! hehe.. haiz~ got bio practical in Dec.. i tie 2 pony tails again okie?? AS IF!! KEEP DREAMING!! haha.. i'm never going to tie like that again.. anyway.. the class outing was fun.. let's do that some time again.. hehe..

so everyone.. have you enjoyed today's show?? haha.. i know.. today's one is the longest.. lol.. got carried away.. haha.. better get going.. ^^ got many more stuff to take care of.. hehe.. then.. tune in for the next episode.. haha.. ^^ see ya all!! love ya!! "chuu" haha..dream on!! lol.. i very evil~

~sekaijuu ikutsu no...ai no katachi arundarou...hitori hitori chigau mono wo...kakaenagara ikiteru...kazoku ya tomodachi ya...onaji GOAL miru nakama...minna ga ite sasaeatte...ima no watashi ga iru no...itsumo soba ni atta taisetsu na mono...kizu kazu ni itakoto shitta...jibun no tame dake ni...ikiru no wa sabishii...sekkaku kono sekai ni...umaretanda kara...~

Phrase of the day:
Admiration. When it falls along the blue times. A cheerful call that doesn’t change in its brightness. A too bright, yet kind smile. The singing voice is faking a deep existence. Everyone is shaking and it’s heart is invisible. The truth that she knows. The faith that only he has…

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

haiz~ again at parent's office... supposed to be studying now.. *sleeping*slepping* studied too long.. my head blasting already.. haha.. i know what you're thinking bakajia.. don't even think of mentioning it.. haiz~ time pass fast doesn't it? it's already Wednesday, November 05, 2008... 21 more days till drama production... the number seems big but the time is short...

(...starting from Thursday, November 06, 2008 @ midnight...)

...21 more days...

...500 more hours...

...30'000 more minutes...

...1'800'000 more seconds...

lol.. i really am so free.. haha.. *sob*sob* bakajia asked me out this morning but couldn't go with her as had to come to office... ah~ i missed those days.. we used to hang out practically everyday, didn't we? always talking nonsense... bullying one another.. consulting one another... haha.. i still can remember those days... haiz~ now bakajia has grown up.. *cry*cry* mommy will miss you cutie.. haha.. i know someone wants to kill me already... hehe.. ^^ *thumbs up*thumbs up* haha

say..cutie.. you know.. about our plan... i'm still crossing my fingers... but i think my parents will object it... haiz~ but i was really looking forward to you.. but if i were to live with you... i need to spend most of my money on cotten buds...haha... i wonder how i'm going to survive.. lol.. after 1 day i will die already.. haha... someone boiling already...lol

hmm.. let's see.. tomorrow morning i have drama.. then got bio workshop.. ^^ hehe.. we are going to make perfume... baby is so excited you know!! you kept nagging... telling me to buy tons of flowers... haha.. my imagination.. hehe... but i'm really looking forward to it.. hehe..

talking about next week.. Thanesh anna is coming back.. on 10 Nov.. hehe.. i tell you something.. can you believe that he is polite.. as if!! when i chat with him he could not figure who i am.. lol.. first said i was his friend.. then... his brother.. lol.. then he finally figured who i am.. lol.. he is very slow.. but i like his driving skills.. ^^ so fun!! he really drive very fast.. to bad.. S'pore has changed the law.. i was really looking forward to get my car licence.. *sob*sob* well.. it's for our best...

better get going.. need to continue studying.. *yawn*yawn*...haha.. can't sleep.. used that time to blog.. ^^" well.. see ya! love ya all! please come and support the drama club on our days of production! see ya till then!! hehe.. kyaa!! i can't wait to wear kimono!! kusu-kusu.. i wished Tadase-kun could have seen me.. Nagihiko-kun too.. Irie-kun too.. Kairi-kun too... Allen-kun also.. OH YEAH!! ot forgetting Lavi-kun too.. lol.. = =" i ar...

~Namida shita kaze wo atsumeteitaina...Nami no sagitsukatte kanata e kaketeku....Kaku kowaku natteru uchi wa tookutemo...Egaita mirai e tsuzukiteru...Toki ga bokura wo shikashite...Kodou ga supiido agetteta...Yume no naka de mezametemo...Onaji hikari wo sagashita...Kagayaku hoshizora no shita...Kazoe kirenai seiza to kage...Sono saki ni kimi wa nani wo...Nani wo mitsumeteirun darou...Nani wo mitsumeteiru darou~

Phrase of the day:
A long day's scent. A little hut facing the sun. A laughing voice that isn't heard. The treasure is there for prayer. Another awakening is shaking within the splashing of the days. It's like the clear water... ...shining brightly...

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

OMG!!! Kyaa!! i'm so happy!! ^^ i just watched Shugo Chara Doki!! nyaa!!! Nagihiko-kun is so cute!! *fainting*fainting* haha.. he is really so cute!! just watch the video above and you'll know what i mean.. ^^ but the part that is hilarious is.. *laughing*laughing* Amu-chi still think that Nagihiko-kun is Nadeshiko-san's twin older brother.. haha!! omg.. i pity Nagihiko-kun.. Rima-chan hates him and suspects him... haha.. she even told Amu-chi to keep her distance from him.. haha.. oh~ kawai so~ kusu-kusu... ^^

anyway.. sorry for the late post.. was very busy.. currently trying to buck up my studies.. ^^" one hand is this.. on the other hand is DRAMA!!! omg!! i have not memorise my lines.. i'm not kidding!! just.. just feel so lazy to do it.. lol..then hehe.. i have bio workshop on thursday and friday.. from 2pm to 4.30pm.. this thursday we are going to make perfume!! we are to bring flower petals.. isn't that fun and interesting!? hehe.. shuold i bring jasmine flowers or rose.. haha.. if bakajia went.. haha.. she confirm give the perfume to her darling.. or maybe wear it when going out with him.. lol.. shouldn't have said that.. haha

can't wait for next tuesday.. hehe.. my special day.. oh yeah bakajia.. don't bother asking me out again as i have a date with my boyfriend.. hehe.. you know who it is.. haha.. actually.. Nagihiko-kun, Kairi-kun and Tadase-kun are fighting to out with me.. haha.. they want to go on a date with me.. hehe.. jealous?? oh please! ^^ haha

and baby.. thanks for the message you wrote in the card.. but the part i was shock to see was.. "..love flowers then..." .. hmm! can you give me an explaination for that!! huh!? haha.. anyway.. thanks for your concern... when i find my destined person i'm will introduce him to you.. don't worry.. haha.. ^^ you know this song.. is a love song.. even the picture below.. haha.. ^^ tag me hor.. love ya.. and to those who wrote in the card.. thanks a thousand..

oh yeah.. the drama production.. i'll be recieving the tickets next week from Mr Eddy.. so buy before stocks last.. haha.. ^^ i'm trying to get friday's tickets.. please come and show us your support.. oh yeah.. you know something.. hehe.. i talked to Mr Ng the other day.. and he told me that he will come and support us!! kyaa!! ^^ that was the best day ever!! my favourite teacher coming to see me act!! omg!! better not embarass myself.. hehe

well.. i better get going.. currently at parent's office... need to continue doing work.. haiz~ anyway.. mum doesn't know that i'm blogging.. *shh*shh* hehe... so better get going.. love ya all!! hope you like the post. video and song.. hehe.. ^^

~Ijiwaru na koto iittemo daisuki datte shitteru...Kenka wa shocchuu dakedo itsudemo soba ni iru kara...Shinjite kuretara nan demo dekichau...Sou dakara haato o anrokku shite...Naritai koto tsutae tai koto daiji na koto hontou no koto...Jibun no koto kizukanai koto fushigi na koto shiawase na koto...Zenbu tamago no naka ni aru yo~

Phrase of the day:
In this summer breeze, I could hear your gentle voice calling out my name... Petals are falling... Fluttering through a summer breeze, you reached out to me... Embraced by strong arms, surrounded by red roses, by the one i love... I smile only for you, under this red petal of love...

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

YO!! wah.. it's been long... sorry sorry.. mum was angry.. *sob*sob* did badly for EOY... need to study more.. haiz~ nvm.. i'll brush up my skills and prepare for next year!!! haiz~ then hopefully i can get all distinctions.. NO!! MUST GET!!! so my L1R4 points will be 6!!! Then go to Ngee Ann Poly... lol... heard that most of my classmates are going to Ngee Ann Poly... ^^ can still see each other there.. but all of us taking different courses.. I'll be taking Accountancy Course!!! Kyaa!! so excited!!! i read the syllabus and it is so interesting!!! i so want to start poly now!!! and you should see their CCA list!!! OMG!! i want to join this.. and that.. and that one too!!! SO MANY!! HOW TO CHOOSE!!! hehe.. Man Ru and i want to join Archery Club.. that's one of the CCA.. got many more.. lol... then i go university.. hehe.. ^^

Hmm... i really have a big plan above me don't i?? hehe.. ^^ today was ok-ok... nothing great happened... tomorrow got End of Year Ceremony.. don't feel like going... lol.. but need to go... then on friday got maths lesson!!! only go to school for 2 hours!!! siao! waste 90 cents of my bus-card money... i so rich is it!? that reminds me... i just got my drama schedule... most clash with lessons.. crazy la the school and club... but i can't wait for the production!!! kyaa!!! ^^ i'm going to wear a kimono!!! OMG!! It has been my dream!!!! i'm so looking forward to it!! too bad i can't keep it.. *sob*sob* haha.. i know lame...

oh yeah.. bakajia.. thx for the letter... i'm so touched... one day why don't we have coffee and talk about it.. lol.. sounds like working lady... haha... let's have fun then.. you share with me your problems and i will with mine... it'll be good if we can live together right!!! i so want it but not sure wether i can... haiz~ i know that the situation on your side is bad but don't give up yet!!! we promised on walking this road which has opened to us together right?? with your hand in mine.. let's walk forward together.. okie?? SMILE SMILE, NE?? ^^

this one is for bakaara... i hope you like the Deepavali card and my message.. but you really gave me a scare when you were reading it during class... let me know your comments hor.. and even if after sec we are not together we cann still hang out on other days.. so never forget about us okie... wait.. us?? i mean me... ignore that chinese girl.. she so annoying... i wonder if i can leave with her... later @ midnight she will want to talk to me... crazy... opps.. someone's angry... i tell you.. you should see in her blog.. OMG! she and her darling flooding her tag board... that's not enough for them you know!! they still flood in the other's tag board... is it a free show i wonder?? haha.. ^^

okie.. better stop... or else someone will burst.. lol.. burst... must say erupt... haha.. i wish the three of us could hang out like we did in the past... that will be fun... hmm... i missed those days.. i want to go back to then... haiz~ what to do... keep moving forward... you know there is this one song which is so beautiful.. the lyrics is so touching!! it goes like this...

In the dreams of my wild self

There are no limits (YES YES YES)

If one is born with 100% possibility

Then let's live our lives at 100%

Doing things like crying and laughing,

Encountering all kinds of people,

Discovering things of imporatance,

and losing them

YES! DON'T MIND IT!

If you can step forward firmly

Isn't it more fun that way? (ISN'T IT?? ISN'T IT??)

I want to do that. And i want to do this too.

Let's go! (GO!)

Forward! (OH!)

Let's do our best and go!

For those who are

Unique in the world,

The thing that you love,

You will find it for sure!

See! isn't it so touching?? ha... I wish i was Momoko.. She is so cute and lucky... haiz~ well.. i am i.. and she is she... everbody is unique in their own ways right? so am i! but i wonder in what way... you two stop thinking.. i know what the both of you are going to say.. don't even think of it!

okie... better get going... will post again soon... hopefully... see you everyone!! take care!! love ya!!! take care of your health hor!! the weather is cold recently.. you can fall sick easily.. especially on the month of December.. okie.. better get going or else someone will get irritated.. haha.. bye-bye!! mata ne!! ^^

~anata no hohoemi wa mune wo tokasu nukumori...dokoka de mita amai yume no you...shizumu yuuhi ni ima wo kiritorarete mo...futari no kage wa kasanatteiku...~

Phrase of the day:
The peacefulness of time… The silence of snow… A mystery that divides the blue night. Another self… that has now gained shape… Children dancing to conjecture… Before you fall into the sleep of the stolen, You are shown one last ease…

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

hey you all?? wa... now is 00 05 and i'm posting.. = =" just felt bored... anyway it's just a short message.. then i want to go to bed... *yawn*yawn* let's get back to where we were...

SHUGO CHARA!!! EVIL MUCH!! I THOUGHT THE NEXT EPISODE NAGIHIKO IS RETURNING BUT HE IS'NT!!! ANOTHER GIRL WILL GO AGAINST AMU-CHI AND IS WORKING FOR EASTER!!! I SO HATE HER!!! BUT WHY HER!!! I WANT TO SEE NAGIHIKO QUIKCLY!!! I SO MISSED HIM!!!!

are'nt they cute!!! from left Tsukitomi Ikuto, Fujisaki Nagihiko, Hotori Tadase, Souma Kuukai and lastly Sanjo Kairi.. Aren't they cute and handsome!!! kyaa!!! *noose bleed*noose bleed* hehe = =" kidding.. first i choose Tadase!!! actually i also like Nagihiko... okie... better get going... will post again next time... hopefully tomorrow..

(This post is for fun.. so no Phrase of the day) well.. good day everyone.. ^^ let's do our best to the coming future... never looking back and keep marching forward!!! hehe.. ^^ *cheering*cheering* love ya all!! good night!! "chuu" hehe.. ^^

why me? what have i done to deserve this? why? i don't get it! if you have something to say then please say it straight! i know that i'm annoying... a bit dumb.. blur and so on... but to act as if you care for me until now... why?? just say the truth! why are you hiding from me!?

i know your words are like sharp edges of a knife which would stab me but still... i can't take it anymore... cubbing to my knees.. not wanting to hear the truth... just running away from the door of truth... i need to face it... i may be sad about it.. but still i need to know!

how long do i intend to run away?? and live in my dream?? i know you are kind and loving but please be frank with me... if you hate me please say so... but i just want you to know that i have loved you through out my life... in the past, present and future...

though i know that you're hiding something from me.. i just kept quiet as i know that you will tell me someday.. but after today.. i have found out.. you intend to hide it from me forever... what's the point of acting?? i'm tired of this..

you know.. i love those days.. when we laughed together... when i cry you'll comfort me... when i get angry you'll hear me till the very end... you listened to my every word... i was very happy.. but then... things are different know huh? i'm hurt... as i already know half of the truth.... it was preety shocking you know that...

i wanted to kill myself... but... i want to know the whole truth... well.. it makes sense now that i see it.. i know why you behave that way towards me now... it can't be helped right? but still.. i hope you will not forget me even if i were to disappear from your life...

thinking back.. i wonder what had i done to make you remember of me.. i have done nothing but cause you troubles haven't i? well... i would want you to recieve my apologies... just wait a few more years.. that's all i can ask for... then i'll disappear from your life... i'll never enter into your dream.. never... i promise...

for now i would like to thank you for what you have done for me these past years.. i'm grateful... though i really miss those days but being apart is best for us... i just don't fit in the picture with you.. but i want you to know that i'll never forget about you... your love will always be in my heart.. forever...

give me sometime for now to prepare myself... then i'll distance myself from you... so please bear for it for now... i'm begging you... thinking back.. after aeperating from you in the future... it'll be lonely.. kind of sad when i think of it.. it's ok i guess.. as you see ny then i'll be doing part-time job... i'll cool my head there.. ^^

you know now that i think of it... you don't know about my blogging... now it sounds hilarious... my post is like a message to you... but you won't be reading... it sounds very funny now that i think of it.. well.. it's ok... let's spend the remaining years without regrets as i'm sure that after i'm gone you'll be having a great time....

okie... enough of that.. trying to forget.. come on wini.. cheer up.. you can't be like this always!! be your usual self!! oh!! GANBARO!!! watashi no nari tai jibun te.. hehe.. so! so! hehe.. ^^

okie.. let's see.. today was the best day ever! hang out with the bakas.. hehe.. the baka gang.. had a great time... at first supposed to meet up bakaara and bakajia at bpp.. but thanks to bakajia had to push to 11.35am... but then was busy searching batteries then did not realize that time passed so fast.. lol..

i want to kill bakajia!!! she made me dirty my shirt!!! *sniff*sniff* hehe.. ^^ then met her at about 11.50 i think then went to bpp to meet bakaara... kyaa!! bakaara's clothes so cute!! especially the hairstyle!!! nyaa!! i love it!! i wonder why she does not want to tie like that to school.. scared that if the boys see you in that hairstyle then they would come after you and leave bakajia behind... then bakajia will cry... lol... can imagine.. haha.. *dreaming*dreaming* lol.. ok.. better stop.. or else someone get angry..

then went to library... look at some books then talked about the plan... in the end going to bugis was canceled.. haiz~ then went to lot 1 and meet up with bakaval... then had lunch in Mac.. lol.. wanted to say in Big Mac... = =" anyway.. after that we went this fashion and alano... bakaara bought clothes.. then hang out.. just walk in and out of stores.. so called window shopping..

then before we left bakaval bought a shirt which she liked and i bought apple pie for my brother... when i reached home.. he ignored me... told me to open the gate myself.. so evil~ then got a bit irritated with his attitude then gave.. or should i say put the apple pie on his table then went to my room

then he acted kindly towards me.. lol.. what the heck!? i thought.. he wabts me to give special treat everytimes is it... then he sweet talk a bit.. how was you paper... what did you buy and so on.. like he would care... he's just happy as he got an apple pie FOC! i tell you beware of my brother.. he will only accept it if you give him anything that is FOC.. so money consious..lol.. if he knows i typed this he'll kill me.. then we parted.. after came home then cleaned my room.. at 10pm supposed to chat with prince charming but due her meeting she can't come.. *sniff*sniff* so sad.. anyway going to chat with her tomorrow...

before i forgot.. there a change in the End of Year Drama Production(EYDP)..this is the confirmed details..

Date : 27th & 28th Nov

Time : (not sure yet)

Venue : Arts House

Ticket pricing : $10 or $15

Sales of tickets will begin around 27th Oct 2008!! Book fast before it is all gone!!

hehe.. can't wait... ^^ i'm so looking forward to it.. talking about that.. i have not started memorising my lines.. lol.. furthermore drama session will resume on tuesday.. OMG!! dead!! haiz~ so many things.. lol.. hehe ^^"

okie.. feeling sleepy.. want to sleep.. tomorrow got dance.. haiz~ don't feel like waking up early tomorrow.. okie.. better get going... good day everyone.. sweet dreams.. and all the best for receiving the EOY results.. i somehow have a bad feeling on the coming Tuesday(release of results).. giku...

~Tenjou no hoshi akaku someru...Kiseki no tsubu hiroi atsumete...Mada mienu yoru no saki ni...Tsutaetai yo maboroshi wo yaburi...Jounetsuteki na kotoba wa naku temo...Ima, koko ni iru koto sore ga boku no shinjitsu~

Phrase of the day:

Holding onto the little glimpse of hope. The thing that can’t be found is the last stand. Even then. Close your eyes, listen with your ears. While having that precious feeling… Seeking the person you’re looking for. A face without any expression becomes a mask. A warping sharp pain. And an unacceptable separation… --The Call of The Sea--

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

yo!! it's been a while hasn't it?? hehe.. ^^ finally exams are over!!!! but i somehow have a bad feeling... haiz~ on tuesday i'll be getting the results... cross my fingers.. hope i did well.. hehe.. well.. i did my best didn't i?? hehe ^^

can't wait for tomorrow... i'll be going out on a date.. hehe.. actually.. not like a usual date.. don't think weird stuff hor.. lol.. hehe.. ^^ tomorrow i'll be having a great time with the baka gang!!! yay!! there's bakaara(baby), bakajia(cutie), bakaval(still thinking what nickname to give) and me(bakawini).. hehe... ^^ first we'll hang out in bpp.. the same old bpp... lol.. not insulting.. lol.. then meet up with bakaval and catch a bus to bugis... nickname for tomorrow is called a date.. hehe... ^^ lame right... = =" but isn't it fun?? hehe... i so can't wait!! i'm going to wear a blue top and short jeans skirt... hehe.. but how should i tie my hair?? don't know lor....

you know... i sound like i'm tensed up for tomorrow... yesterday i kept trying all of my clothes.. and my mum was the judge.. 1st one was too childish.. 2nd one too mature... 3rd one so... on and on she went.. until i decided to wear this set.. hehe... i so can't wait.. ^^" there i go again... i sound like i'm going out with my bf tomorrow.. lol... but it would be nice.. hehe... going out with the one you love... kyaa!!! :$ enough already!! i'm blushing.. nyaa!!! ^^"

then on monday is marking day so no sch.. bakajia invited me to play badminton with her and others...? i wonder who are the others.. anyway... i'm crossing my fingers and hoping that there's no drama session on monday so i can play with her.. but i want to go for drama... i want to ask Ryan about my hair for my role... i so want to cut my hair!!!! haiz~~

oh yeah! i would like to thank Airi Tsukihime!! or should i say JeanneTarina.. hehe.. really!! thx a thousand!! wait infinity i mean.. lol.. lame... ^^" i really appreciate it... if you do find more do tell me hor!!! hehe... ^^ i want to get hold of all of them!!! especially with Tadase's chara nari utau!!! kyaa!!! nyaa!!! :$ *cough*cough* ehem... hehe...^^

haiz~~ i bit bored... i want bakajia to nag at me... or maybe grand daughter to talk to me about anime... haiz~~ oh yeah!! did you see!!! skip beat!!! omg!!! they can't be serious!!! skip beat is showing on art's central!!! but tomorrow is the releasing date in japan!!! that means same telecast also!!! usoi!!

wa... tomorrow is really hectic... so many fun things happening... having a date with the bakas... Skip Beat will be released tomorrow.... Junjou Romantica too.... haiz~~ then on sat got dancing... i'm going to die.... i was so concerned on exams that i totally forgotten about dance.... i can't remember the steps at all... lol... she's going to kill me... must show her my puppy eyes.. hopefully then she'll forgive me.. lol.. what am i thinking nowdays... too much influence by bakajia.. lol... someone going to get angry.. hehe....

wa... did you guys see the intensive training schedule!!! siao!! on the 30th before recess got bio after recess is chem... crazy!!! 4 lesson of bio is interesting but 4 lessons of chem!!! must give an excuse after recess!! will ms lim beleive....? perhaps it is an old excuse?? lol.. better think of something good... wait... didn't ms lim and ms sia said that we're doing practical then?? thinking back again... i remembered then saying it.... yay me!! i love practicals!!.. then there are two days which is 2 lessons of tamil then break then 2 lessons of tamil again... lol... tamil also need classes?? is it becoz we're sitting & trying to score for the 1st round... haiz~~ need a break... lol.. i talk like as if i'm stressed... hehe.. ^^

kyaa!! when will drama resume!!! can't wait to get act out my role.. omg.. have not started memorising my lines... lol... better start before it's too late... if you can make it for the production please come and watch!!! give us your kindest support!!! thx!!!

lol... less than 2 weeks before o level start.... i wonder if my brother is stress.. before i know it... it will be my turn.. & he'll be laughing over there.. ya ya.. i know already.. he wants to tell me a thousand times... doesn't he get tired?? lol...

deepavali is about 3 weeks away!!! can't wait!!! ^^ must maka bakajia wear sari!!! lol.... i confirm going to put mardani!!! permanent one!! muhahaha!!! it'll be the best.. lol... on that day.. just going to wake up go temple then come home.. then on night going to invite ann and her family for dinner.. talking about ann.. it's been long since we last met hasn't it... about 3 or 4 months has passed hasn't it...? so fast huh?? hehe.. looking forward to seeing you!!!

not forgetting also... on the 31st Oct & 1st Nov is class outing!!! kyaa!!! they're planning to book a chalet.. i wonder if got vacancy.. if not we do tenting lor?? much more fun that way.. we'll camp under the stars.. right Fadzil... Kusu-Kusu... let's be one with the nature... lol.... i wonder if you were joking or not... ^^ anyway can't wait... then on the 31st we have bbq right.. kyaa!! when was the last time i had bbq!! make sure someone who know how to cook does it or else it'll get burn.. lol... talking about bbq... we're buying the ingredients on the 30th huh?? after lesson you mean?? woah.. that'll be a hectic day...

~Ginga wo mau tenshi no sasayaki... Tashikana kioku wo tadotte... Korekara kitto umareteku shinjitsu he no tobira... Donna tsumetai kurayami ni shibararete itemo... Boku wa shiritai kara kesshite tomaranai~

Phrase of the day:
A crucial moment without a breath. To a broken heart… A colorless shroud is lifted… Going where ever it wants… But no where in sight. That child… The memories tossed into the day. Even then… I am still within myself. Wandering in the winter seas. Coiling around myself. Giving up on… going around the skies…

~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~

haiz~ = = exams start next monday... ahh!!! i don't want to study anymore!!! i so hate exams!!! DAIKIRAI!!!!! heh... suddenly i feel so tired... i always feel sleepy... i wonder why... i just want to go to school, see my friends, learn new stuff especially biology... then come back home.. i don't want to take exams at all!!! too many things to memorise!!! in other words i'm lazy...

i know i'm not supposed to be using the computer at the moment.. but i can't study... well.. just wanted to type out what i felt...

and to everyone out there...

BEST OF LUCK FOR THE COMING END OF YEAR EXAMS!!! LET'S DO OUR BEST THEN IT'S TIME FOR THE END OF YEAR PRODUCTION....

haiz~~ time do fly fast... @.@" okie.. better stop using... need to bath, do prayers, buy stamps, do a bit housework then time for homework and study.... well.. today's post is just for fun... more like an excuse to use computer.. lol.. ^^'' so there won't be neither messages nor pictures posted... the next post will be on thursday the 9th of october... which will be in 2 weeks time... then after school... i'll buy hair clips... then go to the hair salon to cut my hair.. ^^ so excited... and when i mean cut i meant having a fringe... then before i go poly i'm going to rebond my hair!! ^^ i'm so looking forward to it!!

okie.. better get going... brother nagging over here... = =" till next time!!!

wait before i go.... SHUGO CHARA!! DOKI WILL BE RELEASED ON THE 4TH OF OCTOBER!!! KYAA!!! NAGEHIKO IS COMING BACK!!! I SO MISSED HIM!!! & & NOT FORGETTING CAN SEE MORE OF TADASE-KUN♥♥♥ kyaa!!!! i so missed him!!! love you TADASE-SAMA♥♥♥.. ^^"

ya--hoo!! yo everyone!! how are you doing?? fine i hope!! well.. i finished reading "Tell Me Your Dreams" book... what can i say... so interesting!!! I mean.. i did not once thought that Alette, Toni and Ashely are one person who has MPD(Mental Personality Disorder).. who would have guessed?? i thought they were 3 different people.. well.. the book caught me... hehe.. ^^

well.. i would like to thank bakaval.. good luck to your studies too!! lets work hard towards the graduation day and so on and after... ^^" wahh!! stressed!! hope i'll do well for EOY.. my tamil teacher said that she's going to set o level standard and will be much more difficult then M-Y.. wahh!!! scary!! furthurmore.. Ms Sia said that her question are much more difficult then the bio workbook!!! i don't even know how to put it in words for such quetions and you want me to sit for a paper with higher standards!!! WAHHH!!!!

okie.. cool down wini.. well.. erm.. "Fan of Yours"... erm.. thx for tagging.. i appreciate your tags.. ^^ well.. you said that you know me so well but i don't know you that much... hmm.. are we classmates?? perhaps ex-classmates?? and you said.. "i really like you...the way you talk, smile, your joy, i just feel like you. not love. but like" wa.. i don't know what to say.. i am so touched... i mean because you like me for who i am... i can't be more delighted then this... i want to tell the whole world that someone likes me!! well.. you might think i'm exaggeratting.. that's because i found out that there are also people who hate me.. haiz~~ i just wanted to be liked not rejected... nvm.. i won't give up... there's still hope!! "A Light of Hope.. Cast Upon A Sea of Troubles.." is my saying.. hehe ^^you said that you pledge yourself as my secret admirer!! wa!! ^^ so happy!! well.. i don't know how to react actually.. i'm just filled with so much happiness at the moment.. words can't express my feelings.. somehow i had the feeling of needed and importance to someone.. you don't know how those words have made me happy.. if i knew who you were... i would run to you, hug you and pass my thanks.. ^^ you don't know how happy you have made me... ^^ i hope you will tag again.. hopefully you'll tell me who you are.. unless you want me to crack my head to guess who you are... well.. i hope we can become best friends...

wait.. you're a guy or girl.. i mean if a girl reads this.. they will feel touched... but if a guy reads this.. they might feel a bit.. how to say uncomfortable?? no... that's not the word... okie.. i can't find the word.. okie.. now i'm dying to know more about you!!! you said that you read blogs often... did you read mine from the very beginning??? i mean for real!!! i can't imagine it!! wahh!! i want to ask you a lot of things!! oh please tell me how you are!!!

okie.. today's programme.. well... i did mention that i'm going to talk about my hero right... so have you guessed who it is?? ^^ well.. it is not my boyfriend... ^^ he is non other than my grandpa... he's the best!!! he always encourage me.. cheer me up... make me laugh... and protect me from my parents scoldings.. wa.. i really am i naughty child.. hehe.. ^^ he's the best!!! no one can compare to him!!

you know he always tell me this... "Now.. Now.. Why are you crying?? You know that if your boyfriend sees you like this he'll run away.. Boys like strong willed girls!! So don't cry!! (i strated to cry more) Ok.. Ok... I was kidding!! Now.. Now.. Why are you crying?? Hmm.. This is not the Naren i know... The Naren i know is strong-willed... Never gives up... Always trying... And playful... Well.. That's her.. The Naren i know.. Not this girl who is crying for simple issues... Oh come on! How long do you plan on crying?? You want to badly flood my house with your tears is it?? Now.. Now... Here... (passing me a candy).. Did you know that candy carries the taste of happiness?? If you suck them, a flower will blossom in you mouth... ^^ Now.. Say 'AH..'.. So how does it taste?? Hmm? ^^ You know... Did anyone tell you that you look cuter if you smile? That's because a smile fits you.. ^^ People's looks doesn't come from how they look but what they really are... And you smile shows the real you.. I want to always see my princess smiling.. ^^ I want my princess to be happy always.. And when you get you first pay, you'll bring me out ok?? It's a promise! If you break.. Let's see.. I'll tickle you till you drop!! So always smile.. Be the real you and try your best.. There may be times when people hates you.. But i'm sure that when they know the real you.. They'll like you for real.. Then you can see the boys chasing after you... Hahaha.. ^^ My little princess is growing fast huh? I sometimes wish that time can stop for once... or repeat itself... ^^ Remember about the promise ok??"

Those were his last words... Then... We rarely see each other and talked... A couple of months ago i heard that he has cancer and won't live long.. I was shocked.. The doctor said that they are even sure wether he can live till next year!!

I wanted to cry!! What about the promise we have made?! Have you forgotten them?! You wanted to see you little princess grow old right?! Then don't leave me alone!! You're all i have!!! I'm not yet prepared for this to happen.. How can i lose someone who is so important to me!!! Well.. Even if you go.. I want you to know.. I'm still going to keep the promise.. After my first pay... I'll spend the time alone.. Imagining that you're there with me.. You'll be watching me from above right?? ^^ And i'm going to be me no matter what... Oh.. This is a message for you... Well.. i created it myself.. Hope you like it.. ^^

"The pouring light… …shines on my hands. The sunflowers swaying in the wind. A
scene of where you once were. The glaring reflection… …of the monochrome days.
Do you notice it too? The gentle colours brought along… …are shining. The world
visible so far in the distance; Always, if I reach out my hands… …there’s a place
to reach. Because I’m lonely… …there was pain. By running away… …nothing
would change. This place… …is where I believe I could go on living. Looking straight
ahead… …your eyes face mine without looking away. I’m still a little scared. But,
after it’s gone… …everything should be stopped. Let’s travel together on… …the
road leading ahead."

Hope you liked the message grandpa.. And i want you always know this.. ^^ You'll always be my hero! No matter what happens.. And i'll always be your little princess!! ^^ hehe..

Now... Back to bakajia... I thouht you said that i can contact you anytime.. Never sms me... Talking to your darling is it?? haiz~~ Don'r lose track of life okie... well.. wanted to tell you that Tadase and i are having a great time together.. ^^ hehe.. Don't bther us okie... Stick to your darling... well.. i wanted to tell Tadase this... ^^

"You taught me that… …there’s light in the sky… …sediments flow in the water…

…the wind will bring some kind of change… Words are an edged weapon, but at

the same time… …can become a tool wrapped in kindness. Even if people cannot

see eye-to-eye, people have hearts. Someone will notice sooner or later. I gave up

everything without knowing anything. I had abandoned everything… …but you

taught me little by little. Trying your best, without giving up. You pulled my hand

tightly. The words, “I like you”, carry too little weight. The words “I love you”,

are too ambiguous. Because I don’t know what’s most correct to write… …or

whether I can bring my feelings to light, so I write

– Tadase – Thank you for the world..."

Kyaa!! ^^ Tadase will like it right?? I created it myself!! ^^ I wonder what he'll say... ^^ You know there was a rumor... When a couple spend the Christmas together it means that they will be together forever... Nyaa!! So bakajia.. Don't bother us during Christmas okie?? ^^ We want to be together... Alone♥♥♥

Hehe.. okie.. Better get going... It's getting late.. Well.. You heard about my hero.. So what you think? My grandpa ia a great guy right?? ^^ He always is.. ^^ And i'm proud of being his grand daughter.. ^^ Heard that grandpa!! ^^ I love you!!! Okie okie.. Tadase don't get jealous.. hehe.. ^^ I too love you... Well you're my Ooji-sama afterall!! ^^ Hehe... Hope you liked the message... Once again i love you both!! ^^ Well.. I hope you engoyed today's post.. Till next time folks!! ^^ Take care! Sweet dreams! Love you all!! But I LOVE ♥♥♥TADASE♥♥♥ THE MOST!!! KYAA!!! :$ okie.. Good nights!! "Chuu"

~Shinjitsu dake o oimotome kizukeba soko ni kimi ga ita... Tokubetsu na sonzai wa itsuka kizuna ni kawaru... Kioku no sumi ni utsurikomu kirihanasenai kanashimi mo... Ima naraba koko de nara tsuyosa ni kawari asu e tsuzuku yo~

Phrase of the day:
One day, I’ll have gone away. When I’m no longer by your side, I’ll be unable to touch your gentle face or be heard when I call your name. Even when the stars die out.. Even when water stops flowing.. Promise me, that you’ll always remember me… Because one day, We’ll surely meet again…

~~~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~~~

hey ya all!! i'm so angry & so happy!!! well... finally my juliet tagged me!! she even said that she missed me.. wa... so touched... you heard that bakajia!!! unlike you someone is so caring!!! ^^ so happy... tomorrow i can see my juliet.. wait for me oh dearest juliet... i travel through darkness & hardship just to see my beautiful flower.. lol.. goosebumps already.. hehe

now!!! bakajia!!! what with you flooding my tag board?? huh!!! so free & fun is it!? huh!!! and in your tag board.. you are very lame... so lame... &!! you ar!!! i want to smack your head!!! leave my Tadase alone!!! you already have you darling what!!! i pity Tadase... i know that you always bully him.. you'll see.. one day he'll reject you & run to my hands.. ohh~~ i'll comfort him..

ONE LAST THING!!! DON'T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S BOYFRIEND!!! GRR!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!

i hope you're looking forward to your b'day... i have a big surprise for you... ^^ i big one... & i know that you're going to love it.. muhahaha!!! (witch laughing uncontrolably)

well... i have nothing much to say... actually i want to mention something.. but... it's pretty long and complicated... so i'll mention this next time... i want to splash all of my feelings onto the blog... well.. let the blog do the talking....

wa... just watched a debate... it's about love... Appearence vs Character... so funny!!! there's a part 2 next week... they showed the preview of it... OMG!!! a man from the audience came up and proposed to a lady who was debating... i mean they only showed the sence of him.. saying that he fall in love at first sight... then fall to her legs and said "I LOVE YOU! I HOPE YOU BECOME MY WIFE!" then he ran away.. i was so shocked... just stared at he tv then came back to my room... i mean.. wow! he's so daring!!

Well.. i also want my Ooji-sama to do the same... he'll like me for who i am that is.. ^^ Can't wait to meet my fated person... Oh! can't time just forward to when my fated person will propose to me!!! :$ kyaa!!! blushing already!! well... everything has their own time... ^^ i'll patiently wait till then... i can't wait to see him!!! i have already thought through...

in my life.. i'll only have a boyfriend.. that is my husband.... at around 20+ we'll get engaged... then for 2 years(see the circumstances then) we'll date... then get married... :$ kyaa!!! and my dates are to be every evenings!!! wow!! that will be fun... i do ot want my dates to be so expensive... i want it to be sweet and simple... ^^ yup yup.... for example... one evening we'll meet.. then go to coffee shop & have a drink... then hold hands & do window shopping... decide on our future.. like furniture and sorts... get to know each other better... then at night... we'll go to the top of the hill... on top of the hill there'll be a big sakura tree... at night there'll always be a cool breeze.. not too strong.. just right... & you can smell the freshness of the grass just like it rained a minute ago... when we are there... we'll lay down on the fresh grass and look up at the sky... on that night the sky will be clear... & there'll be a clear full moon... and a flood of stars will be surrounded around the moon.... it'll be so romantic... then we'll look up and try to create images of stars... like you join these stars in a particular way.. you'll get this picture... then he'll walk me home.. at the gate he'll kiss me goodbye then leave... i'll quickly run up to my room and open my window and look at him till he disappear slowly into the mist.. then i'll pray to god for him to be safe... kyaa!!! :$

^^ well... that's an example.. actually that was my first date dream... my dates are not nessesarily have to be expensive... they can be sweet & simple.. as long as my Ooji-sama likes me for who i am.. ^^ i'll be the happiest girl on earth... i mean women... lol.. lame right.. = =" trying to crack jokes...

okie better get going.. well. thx for reading my blog... well. this time you know about my life partner and how i want my life to go... next time will be about my hero.. well.. who the hero you might ask?? till next time.. hehe... need suspense mah?? ^^ good nitez.. sweet dreams.. love ya all!! take care!! "chuu"...

~ame agari asphalt toori de yasuragu... suri kireta kodomo ga fu to odori dasu... mizu tamari de dansu ano niji no shita...~

Phrase of the day:

I was preparing to walk on that road. The road to happiness. The road to the future. The road that had not been open to me before. With someone nearby to walk with me. Together forever, on this road…

~~~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~~~

hey ya all!!! long time no see!! miss you!! love you!!! okie.. over acting... i'm so happy!!! wee!!! wohoo!!! i feel on top of the world!!! yahoo!!! ^^" ehehe.. you might think that i'm crazy right.. bakajia.. i know that you're agreeing to that sentence.. don't worry.. i have a special surprise on your birthday... i know that you will "love" it... muhahahaha... be prepared!!! muhahahaha!!!!

okie... you might ask is that why i'm happy.. well no... just felt like talking about bakajia... or should i say crazy girl.. lol... i so evil~~ actually... i love it.. muhahaha... *cough*cough* ehehe.. ^^" okie... come back wini.. tell them the good news...

well... well.. well... i don't hear drum rolls.... i want it to be louder!!! okie... the good news is......................................

I KNOW MY CHARACTER FOR END OF YEAR PRODUCTION!!!!! YAHOO!!!! guess what!!! i was chozen to play "Grandmother, Oba chan"!!! so happy!!! though.. she only appears at the last third of the story.. and i'll be acting four times!!! 1st on the preview day... 2nd on the first day of production.. 3rd on the last day of production.. and the 4th for SYF!!!! wehee!!! can't wait to get started.. but before that... haiz~~ hate to say it... first need to clear EOY Exam.. then practices.. practices.. and more practices... we're going to practice like hell!!!

To remind you guys again...

FAJAR DRAMA CLUB WILL BE HOLDING AN END OF YEAR PRODUCTION ON NOVEMBER 21 & 22.. FOR THOSE WHO ARE FREE ON EITHER DATES DO COME.. "I'LL BE ACTING TOO!!" as..as..as..as "GRANDMOTHER, OBA CHAN!!!"

So if you're free i'll appreciate if you could come and watch us.. not only watch but also support us... you could also give us comments... at the end of the show there's a possibility for you to meet us in character!!!! IT"S A ONE IN A LIFE TIME OPPORTUNITY!!! SO DO PLEASE COME!!! well.. if you really can't come it's okie... well... i'm not the only one from 3E2... Sharil & Hayati too will be acting... Well.. Hayati's role... i'm sorry!!! i forgot... = =" ehehe... but i know Sharil's one!! He's acting as "Kenji"!!! For you info Kenji is.. wel.. don't want to say.. keep it as suspense... See it for yourself.. hehe...

WA!! look at the time.. better sleep.... well see you next time.. till then do look out for new updates on my blogs... if you're interested on coming to the End Of Year Production... you can tell me... i'll book them... but to remind you... we'll only be getting the tickets on the month of October.. haiz~~

I wish my ooji-sama and my "prince charming" could come and watch... haiz~~ i miss them!!! i love you guys!!! you rock!!! they're the cutest on earth!! no.. in the universe!!! wohoo!! okie.. better stop.. blushing already.. aiyo! me ah~~ lol... enough dreaming wini.. okie.. better go.. bye bye!! keep in touch.. do tag me before you leave!! thx for reading!!! love you!! better take care of your health as the weather is not good recently.. that's all.. love you... = =" mum nagging already.. bye...

~terekakushi na serifu mo... mitsumeau shunkan mo... anata to iru jikan mo... tarinai kedo... saishuu densha miokuru... made nigiri shimete kureta te... sarigenai yasashisa ga ureshii yo...~

Phrase of the day:
His eyes were taken away by death. And everything is sealed along with the darkness when he resists. Opening only when he thinks through life, and becomes ready to accept everything. What he sees with those eyes, what he chooses…That’s...

~~~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~~~

haiz~~ after so long after i check my tag board saw the name again... aiyo... headache already... flood so many times somemore... she can't get sick of it i tell you... you know who i am talking.. the star is non other but bakajia.. your very "sweet" Jiaxin... = =" i know that you miss me so much but to do this isn't it too much? hehe...

poor girl.. she must be mental... keep saying that she's tadase.. furthurmore in bakaara's blog she said "i love bakajia =) she rocks"... she's talking to herself... haiz... better keep my distance from her.... she talks crazy stuff i tell you... the last time she said that my future husband must belong from the deaf organization...

well. it's true that i'm like a grandma.. always talk and talk... but.. i do that becoz there's no one i can talk to.. it happened recently... my family and i went for dinner.. it was fun... but after i had my meal... i felt like vomitting... the food was oily.. i can't take oily food or else i will puke... if i talk i might vomit the next minute.. so i kept quiet... = =" worst day let me remind you... then my family want to have earthquake... for your info earthquake is a big bowl with scoops of ice-cream... different scoop for different ice-creams... i recommend you to try it... but it will be filling so don't eat anything heavy before that...

let me continue... then they asked what i want... i said i don't want as i feel like vomitting.. then i kept quiet.. before i know it they said that i have attitude problem... then my mum said "next time when you talk to us we will not bother to listen. talk to yourself. like a mental kid" my question is.. haven't i been doing that? they never bother to listen one bit.... only my brother is hilarious.. then i? just a nuisence right? during the moment when i kept quiet(i didn't have any choice) they kept talking and laughing.. ignoring me.. then i said to myself.. "don't they look like a happy family? then why am i here... aren't i a disturbance? why didn't the car hit me a few days ago...".. that was what i wondered....stupid right.. i know... then i got bored.. so i took out the storybook that i had... and read... what else to do?...

then my father looked at me... "so you're going to hide your feelings in the storybook is it".. was what he said.. i stared at him shocked..

"my feelings? i am hiding them? you don't even know how i feel everytime! you always concern yourself with shankara! not me! you care nothing less for me! you tell me to do this do that!! then i don't have time for other stuff and you expect me to do well!? are you even using that brain of yours!? do you know what i have been am going through!? you know nothing! did you even know that most of the time i think of disappearing from the surface of the earth! when i'm with you and the family you're driving me nuts! you're turning me into a freak! did you know that! well you can't care less for me so how would you know.. you never ask why i even did that! you never! you'll never!!! and you say that i'm stubbon!! i have attitude problem is it!! you guys are the one that have it!! HE! that idiot shankara always call me names... all kinds.. stupid, idiot, bitch, fu*k.. he can go on and on infront of you and you won't say anything.. but when i can't take it and just call him stupid you'll shout at me! where is this fare! this proves that i'm not your child right! i am just a nucience to you guys right! well. your actions say so.. what's the point of hiding furthur! tell it out!! why beat around the bush when you can say the truth!"..

that was what went in my mind...(still had more but too long) then i just closed the book.. kept it.. and stared at them... well.. i was dreaming again.. as... if i get angry the next minute i will cry coz i am actually a weak person... so i just stared at them and dream(my favourite hobby).. dreaming is the only thing that can cure my sorrow, anger & hatret... i dreamt how it would be like if i were with my dream family... a caring mother.... a funny father.... a protective brother.... and me.. then i can be my true self... after i reached home... i couldn't sleep.. then i talked to them as if they were there in my room... you might think that i'm crazy but this is how i get my pleasure in my house or should i say... when i'm with my family... i guess that's how dreaming became one of my hobby... hehe..

that's why i talk to my friends... but if they don't want to listen... i guess it's too bad huh? looks like no one wants to.. till i await for the very person who will hear my cry and make me to be my true self again.... i will continue to talk to my dream family.. but i have decided... i'm going to move out... well.. i'm a nuisence aren't i.... if i moved out they can become a happy family... well.. i have found mine... my dream family... so i'm not that sad...

the only thing that i'm waiting for is my ooji-sama... one day... for sure... he'll save me.. he'll bring me to light... he's the light of hope that will guide me through the darkness.... he'll have warm arms that will hug me when i'm in pain... great pain... or when i need a sense of belonging... a warm smile that will melt my sorrow and make me feel safe... a gentle voice that will break me apart... the gentle voice will break the walls that have built to hide my feelings... my true feeling... and his kind eyes... when i look into them... i'll forget my surroundings.. then before i know it.. my feeling will be pouring out... i'll have a trust in him... a sense of belonging... the warmth which i coudln't find all these years.. can only be felt when i'm with him... when i'm by his side... during then... then i can be my true self... i believe that.. that when i'm by his side... i can become my would-be-self... that's why.. ooji-sama... like i've said... i'll wait... i'll wait till the end of the earth.... i'll await for your arrival... then.. then... i would have a lot of things to share... a lot... really lots.. then... during that time... will you lend me your ear? will you give me the things that i deared...? and make me accept the things i feared..? but one thing will never change... i know... that thing which i have feared will never change.. there will never be a day when i'll overcome it.. i know it for sure.... but... will... will you be by my side till the end of the earth? will you? promise?

well.... i almost talked about my everday life... some might think that it is stupid.. some might say that i'm crazy... but this is how my life is... everbody is unique... that's how the world is... why can't some people just accept that and not expect more... if everybody were to be the same.... you'll go crazy... not only you.. everybody!! like i said everybody is unique you need to accpet that... you will understand why they behave that way if you know their background and how they think... everyone sees things differently... then why are you so stubbon? why only stick to your way of seeing and thinking... can't you see as that persons way of seeing things? you'll see a whole new meaning!! becoz everyone is different... that's how they are... we need to understand that first... the most basic thing on earth...

~Abarenbou na uchira miru yume ni genkai wa nai yo... (Sou! Sou! Sou!)... Kanousei hyaku-pa de umaretara hyaku-pa de ikite iku ze... Naitari warattari shite ironna hito ni deau... Daiji na mono mitsuketari nakushitari (hai donmai)... Gangan hashitte iketara sono hou ga tanoshii jan (soo jan! soo jan!)... Are mo shitai kore mo shitai... Iku zo (Goo!!) Susume (Oo!!) Gachinko de ikou!... Sekai ni hitori no jibun no tame ni... daisuki na koto wo kitto kitto mitsukete yare...~

Phrase of the day:
He searches for the truth while covering his eyes and ears. The time that passes between now and when they meet again drags on. Time that seems like it won’t end until they meet again. Words that were cast away; a look that was turned towards him. Even if he disappears in transport, he wanders. Even if he remembers, thoughts slip away again. Those who were chosen stand still. A history that has been locked away. The illusion of a will to protect... The people who lock away tomorrow...

~~~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~~~